Profiling my school

Happy terrorist day, everyone! No, it's not actually something anyone pays attention to over here. Warms my heart to think that other civilized countries have gotten over it by now. Anyway, on to the substantial parts of this post.
I've been asked more than once what some of the students and teachers are like at my school(s), so I'll share a bit. I primarily teach at Kosaka Junior High, so this'll be about people there.

Ms. Giggles
Ms. Giggles is the youngest teacher at KJH, being fresh out of college and in her first year here. She teaches English and laughs at everything. She has this ridiculously girly, high-pitched laugh that, coming from anyone less educated, would be nearly suicide-inducing. Somehow she manages to pull it off, though. We first met kind of randomly when all of the teachers (none of whom I had met at this time) were invited on a tour of a new high-tech recycling plant that had just been opened in Odate (next town over, about 2o min. by car). On the way back, a woman I had spoken to briefly asked me if I'd like to exchange bus seats with her. She was sitting next to Giggles, who apparently wanted to talk to me but was too shy to ask. I think her head nearly exploded when I sat down next to her and tried some conversation. Turns out she's real sweet, though, and fun to teach with (all of the English classes are team-teaching style).

NEXT...
I refuse to steal the name Ms. (or even Mrs., since she's recently married) Americanized, but I'm hard-pressed to come up with one more appropriate (so far). She's the next English teacher up the food chain, and she went to college in Washington state for four years, so she basically speaks perfect English. We'll go with Mrs. Freckles for now, since she has quite a population of them. I've had a great time teaching and planning lessons with her so far, as she has a good grasp of American humor. Our current project involves very occasionally rewarding students who perform well with a fake dollar bill, and telling them to take good care of it. We won't tell them what it's for, though, and it drives them batshit crazy. I spent 15 minutes of lunch time today dodging questions from one poor boy who begged me to tell him before the next exam, because he was worried that the stress would keep him from adequately preparing. Tee-hee, I'm such an ass.

Baldy
I don't actually work with Baldy every day, but he's the bureau chief of the Board of Education, so I see him plenty. As you might have guessed, he has very little hair. I did not have to give him this name, though - one of his co-workers at the BoE introduced him as Baldy when we met on my first day in Kosaka. This is indeed the same one I mentioned at the end of "Sugitaru wa oyobazaru ga gotoshi." He's the sort of guy who always has a mischievous gleam in his eye, as if he's constantly sharing some private joke with everyone he speaks to. And he loves beer. We get along well, needless to say.

CPB
CPB is short for Condescending, Patronizing Bitch. This may come as a shock to you, but I don't care for her much. CPB is the principal's secretary. The principal is a kind, old man who really seems to love what he does, but his harpy is a waste of human parts. She speaks to everyone (that I've witnessed) with a sing-song, holier-than-thou mannerism that grates on the nerves, and she seems to enjoy finding useless tasks to occupy my time. My recent *ahem* favorite was a form that needed to be filled out after I went out on a business-related event during work hours. She had filled out the entire form in pencil, and then asked me to trace her letters in pen. Because obviously she doesn't know how to use a pen herself, and just giving me the bloody thing to fill out from scratch would mean acknowledging that I have a reasonable understanding of her language (she knows I speak Japanese). Better yet, when I was finished filling it out in blue pen (she hadn't specified a color preference), she asked me to retrace it in black pen.
...If you listen closely, you might be able to hear my eyes rolling. I swear that if she disappears and they never find the body, though, that I had nothing to do with it. Ah, but this entry has enough vitriol for now. Moving on...

Squid Boy
Squid Boy is a sannensei student who is generally one of the more active and enthusiastic class participants. For this reason alone I'm glad to have him around; he sets a fine example for all the other kids who need to consult with their nearest 4 neighbors just to answer a question like, "Do you live in Kosaka?" His nickname isn't a tremendously profound affair, though; it just came from the first English statement he made to me. I was eating lunch with his class one day, and he came up to me and announced, "I...like SQUID! I love it!!" Whatever does it for ya, kid.

Egghead
Egghead's nickname has nothing to do with the shape of his head (well, mostly...he is kind of baldish), but comes from his diet-related choices.
School lunches are served in the classrooms; there is no separate cafeteria. All of the food is wheeled in on a big metal cart, and students dish up the food, eat, and bus their own dishes. One day the main course included some meat, vegis, and scrambled egg served over noodles (kind of like fried rice w/o the rice part). The egg was served from a separate bowl, and there was a lot left over after everyone had taken their share. So, Egghead finishes eating, refills his bowl half way with rice, and then proceeds to pile about a kilo of egg matter on top and dig right in. Everyone around him watched in horror, and I think a few made bets on whether he'd finish his embryonic mountain or not. I pity anyone who had to be downwind of that boy a few hours later.

I've not given tongue-in-cheek nicknames to the majority of my students, but some of them have really impressed me.
I ate lunch with one of the ninensei classes recently, and tried to talk to a shy boy who was reading a magazine after fooding was complete. The magazine had some pictures of motorbikes in it, and it turns out that this kid rides motocross up in the mountains every weekend - he's freaking 13 years old!
Another had some highly detailed pictures of anime characters in a plastic bag on his desk. He carefully removed one of them and began to trace around the edges with a razor blade*. As I watched he completely cut out this figure in absurd detail, down to the individual locks of hair that stuck up in different directions. He told me that he makes collages from these and does some sketching as well. I asked to see his sketch book, which contained a plethora of tanks, guns, and airplanes, plus a few Gundam-like creations, all in incredible detail. I have a feeling this kid has a steady enough hand to perform brain surgery.

*Yes, it's ok to have a razor blade in school here. In Japan, a razor blade is a tool and not a WMD.

I've written all my hands are good for right now, but I imagine this post will have additions as I encounter more people who have stories I'd like to tell.