Wrapping up the naming game

I’ve so far only named two of my coworkers, Ms. Giggles and Mrs. Freckles, and also hinted at the existence of one other (my lead JTE), but I actually have quite a plethora of talented people I teach with or just interact with on a regular basis. Time to get down to the task of finishing my naming project, so I can properly refer to them in all future writings here.

Saint
…is of course my lead JTE in Kosaka. When I first began work here, I had the impression that this man would be a real pain in the ass to work with. He struck me as being unnecessarily by-the-book and unwilling to adapt to the individual needs/desires of our students. How wrong I was. You might remember the entry where I mentioned him coming to the rescue when I had a conflict with one of my other JTEs. Aside from that experience, he has by his actions shown me on many occasions that he really cares about what he is doing here and is concerned for the future of our students. He’s always in the office until late in the evening, studying new teaching methods and preparing all manner of class activities and games to further the younguns’ learning. Anytime an awkward moment or difficult explanation comes up in class, he has a solution that quickly smooths the situation over. In general, he is the epitome of what just about any person would call a good man.

Closet Naughty
…is the elementary teacher who sits right next to me at School in the Sky. She’s super cute, but alas, she’s got a boyfriend. In any case, I have a policy against dating coworkers. She’s one of the few coworkers I have who is in my age range (actually, we’re exactly the same age), though, so we have some common interests to talk about whenever I’m there. The name, though…this comes from one time when I visited her elementary class here. There are six girls ranging from 3rd to 6th grade (I think) that she teaches, and I dropped in to help out with a basic English class – they’re mostly just learning the alphabet and some simple expressions right now. C.N. doesn’t actually speak much English, but she knows enough to teach the little squirts (I’m sure she teaches them other subjects, as well). We were doing self-introductions, which of course includes hobbies/interests.
Take a moment to form in your head the image of a slim, cute Japanese woman, mid-twenties, just shorter than shoulder length black hair. Picture her teaching a giggly little group of eight- to eleven-year olds with hair braided in pigtails, all wearing pastel-colored jumpers. Got it? It’s a pretty innocent image, complete with flowers and bunny rabbits, wouldn’t you say? Now picture the teacher saying in front of the students, in somewhat broken English, “My interests are hot boys and drinking saké.”
…Homey say what?! I pride myself on my composure, simply because I didn’t quite fall over laughing and gasping for air then. So, yeah. Closeted in virtue and bubbly cuteness, but really a man-izing (is this a word?) lush at heart. Warms the soul, doesn’t it?

Ninja T
…teaches social studies and swings a fucking fierce game of table tennis. I’ve been stopping by the table tennis club after school recently, and I have discovered how bad at this game I really am. The only weapon I have is that my serve is somewhat unconventional, so my students haven’t figured out a reliable way to defeat it. Yet. These kids are the type who are usually playing about a meter or two back from the table, whaling the shit out the ball every time it hits their side and still somehow placing it in bounds when they return it to their opponent. And they’re mostly about 14 years old. Ninja T is the late-twenties full grown adult who teaches them these acrobatics.
…And to think that I used to consider myself good at this game. *sigh*

Green Blink 41
…or just Po-punk for short. She teaches at School in the Sky, and loves every band in the pop/punk genre that I have heard of, plus a few old-school items like Sex Pistols and Dead Kennedys. Somehow Green Day or Sum 41 or whatever came up in a conversation once (she's about my age so we chat a fair bit), and then the next time I was at SitS she gave me a burned CD of a similar Japanese band called ELLEGARDEN (usually displayed in caps). They’re actually pretty damn good, at least worth a download in my opinion. Nowadays I trade music with her pretty regularly, and we’ve promised each other we’ll be at the first good concert that comes anywhere near this area. Psssh, if that ever happens.

Tea Lady
…I wish I had a better name for her, but this is the first thought that comes to my mind every time I see her. Tea Lady isn’t exactly a teacher; she fulfills all of the random mandatory duties that come up at school, including bringing morning tea to all of the teachers, making copies, fixing stuff, janitorial jobs, and probably a million other things I’m not aware of. But the first time I see her every morning, she’s bringing me a cup of tea. She’s really cool, in a no-nonsense sort of way. Unlike the teachers and students, she has no need or desire to learn English, so she talks to me in Japanese about whatever interesting news/gossip is floating about. She’s a very motherly sort of kind, but she also has the weight of many years of experience behind her, so when she speaks, you listen. And she brings me candy sometimes.

Elvis
…is the vice-principal at KJH. He often practices his English on me in somewhat random, heavily accented statements that I find strangely endearing. And his hair makes him a dead ringer for Elvis Presley! …well, if Elvis was Asian, slim, and alive, anyway. He also is into iaido, so he gets bonus points there. He actually has a 2nd degree black belt, if I recall correctly.

Sugar
…is my JTE at School in the Sky. The name comes from the fact that his real name is homonymic with the Japanese word for sugar, and that he’s really a well-natured, easygoing guy to work with. He can be a bit too accommodating at times, but it’s not a bad thing. He practices his English with me more than any of my other JTEs, and is often researching any manner of random vocabulary (usually pretty detailed or high-level stuff) between classes. He always tells me he’ll email me the lesson plans for my classes there (I’m only at School in the Sky at most once a week), always forgets, and always apologizes profusely when I arrive in the morning. It’s become something of a running joke, I think. I’m not worried about it because he’s more open to my input in class than my other JTEs, so I don’t need to know perfectly what he has in mind beforehand in order to feel useful.

Valley Girl
…is a student and not a coworker of mine, but she gets a shout-out here just for being funny and weird. She’s one of my more outspoken sannenseis, so I usually like classes she’s in. She’s kind of one of the popular kids, and she can be a pain in the ass about it sometimes, getting pouty and sulky when stuff doesn’t go her way. But she cheers when she does well in class and raises her hand to guess even when she doesn’t know the lesson well (understand that this is super rare – Japanese kids have a tremendous issue with sticking out and potentially being wrong, even if I encourage them to try).
I had one…I don’t know, humorous maybe?...incident with her recently that I’m still not entirely sure what to make of. She was basically being bitchy in class one day, so I asked Saint (JTEs, not us foreigners, are officially responsible for discipline in class) about it afterwards. He tried to explain it to me, but he couldn’t think of the English word to describe something that he said was wrong with her. I partially understood the Japanese word he used; I thought it was some kind of mental disorder he was talking about, like maybe ADHD or something. I got him to repeat the word and went back to the teachers’ office to look it up in my handy-dandy electronic dictionary, expecting to find out that this poor girl couldn’t control her obnoxious behavior today. Turns out that she’s…a narcissist. Yup, that’s the word he used. She’s hard to deal with sometimes because she has an over-inflated opinion of herself. Wow.

I may be missing a few people, but that’s all I gots for now. If anyone else distinguishes themselves enough to earn a new name, I’ll be sure to keep you updated.


This isn’t worth an entire blog entry on its own, but it’s still too funny not to write about. I was recently picking up a few items at Kosaka’s dedicated liquor store for upcoming social events. I say “dedicated” because that’s all they sell; one can buy hard liquor at gas stations and grocery stores here, as well. As I’m one of two foreigners (that I’m aware of) living in Kosaka, I get chatted up by the locals pretty regularly. I was checking out when the clerk (well, actually the owner of the store) asked me if I was teaching at the junior high school. I said that I am, and she promptly thanked me for putting up with her daughter. The conversation went something like this:
Me: Oh, your daughter is in junior high? What grade/class is she in?
Her: 3rd grade, class number 2. I’m sorry, she is very stupid.
Me: What?! No, no, 3-2 is a good group.
Her: Her name’s [Valley Girl]. (see above)
Me: …Oh.
Her: See? Dumb girl.
Me: No! She’s…great. She really participates a lot.
Her: She just wants attention. I’m very sorry; I will try harder in raising her at home.
Me: How can I escape this awkward conversation with my dignity intact? Oh, don’t worry about her. She loves speaking English.
Her: She does like the sound of her own voice, yes.
Me: She’s coming along fine. I’m sure she’ll get into a good high school in Odate.
Her: Heh-heh. That makes one of us.

Odate is the neighboring city that actually has a population (about 80,000) and shows up on maps. All of the good high schools in north Akita, I’m told, are located there.

And for today’s brief WTF report, I would like now to focus your attention on the School in the Sky, where I spent last Thursday teaching. This visit was no less awesome than every day here (really, the kind of job that makes you think, they’re paying me for this?!), but to stir things up a bit, one of my two ichinensei students decided to get a little creative with his lunch. It’s worth mentioning that the lunch lady who prepares everything here is also quite a talent, and I have yet to have an unpleasant dining experience…yet somehow, it just wasn’t interesting enough for this troubled child. So, he took the little butter packet that was intended for our baked sweet potatoes, peeled his mandarin orange, and slathered each individual section of it in pure, unadulterated, churned dairy before chowing down. And by his face, I’m honestly convinced that he enjoyed it. WTF, indeed.